I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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