It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
