I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
His nipple licking is glorious
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