I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize