I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Houston, we have a squirter
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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