She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
