Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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