im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
