I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
