Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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