11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
