He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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