pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize