I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
