i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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