Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
