I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
