I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
