How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
