SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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