so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I touched a dick in church today
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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