so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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