bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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