nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
