Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
