I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
