eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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