20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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