yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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