Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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