I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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