This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My brain says no but my pants say off.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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