I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
