I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
