somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she looked like the before picture.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
