Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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