i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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