College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
