I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When did angry sex become our thing?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
