now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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