Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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