You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
