Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
