pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to have your abortion
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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