Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
