Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Randomize
