I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
