i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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