Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
