i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
