I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
