We're like a lot better than the average bears
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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