I got chris browned last night
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
