They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize