so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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