this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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